Lacey Morris

Learning to Love you

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 15:01:54 -0700

What does it mean when someone tells you practice self love? What if you learned as a child that your needs didn't matter, and you needed to care for others first before yourself. Then you will probably have a harder time to " love yourself " You will put everyone else in front of you, and gain something from being the constant caregiver or codependent in most your relationships. You'll also learn to be super independent at a young age, because frankly no one was as reliable as yourself. But how can this block you in your life?

Well to start with, you may not feel supported or seen in you intimate relationships. You may feel like getting breadcrumbs is fine, because it's something and certainly better than nothing. But you often feel drained in your relationships because your always the one saving the other, picking up the shoe when it drops, and being the peace they need to calm down. I know this because I have lived it....I walked away from it almost two years ago. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Even harder than losing my Mother at the young age of 24. But everyday from now on I choose me, and I ask that little girl who never quite felt loved what does she need to feel safe, protected, comforted.

Sometimes it's the addiction she wants, the lover that isn't available. But that is just a quick fix, a heroine hit and it would soon fade. She would soon have to face her demons again alone...and that is when I have to learn to love me. I invite you to work by my side in this process. I know what it feels like to seek all those external factors to feel loved. To finally realize I had to seek within me for that love to sustain me. Let me help you choose you. I wold be honored to be your guide.

Tips for Living in Balance and Certainty

Sun, 06 Sep 2020 10:32:46 -0700

When were off our center or letting outside forces lead us we can feel disconnected from ourselves and others. It is especially hard lately to find a sense of balance when there are so many elements out of our control, fires, covid, finances. Our world is being shaken up and what do we have to hold on to? Over the past few months while starting my day I have begun to practice the list below. It has given me a sense of peace and helped ground me when all else fails. I hope they help you as well.

1. Take time to ground: This could look different ways for many different people. You can lean up against a tree if you happen to be near nature. If your in your home you can take a moment to sense and feel your body in deeper ways. Stretching for a few minutes and imagine feeling your feet dropping into the ground growing roots deep into the earth or carpet beneath you. Once you feel this connection you will feel your energy in a new expansive way.

2. Know your true boundaries: Boundaries can feel fluid and easy for many. For some, boundaries or even cultivating them is a new concept. A good practice is to close your eyes for a few moments and imagine a imaginary bubble surrounding your body. You could picture this bubble to be pink or white or some calming color that makes you feel safe and protected. Once you feel this image it is yours to call onto through the day. You can use it to feel safe and to protect your energies when needed.

3. Connect with your intention: What is your intention for the day? Sometimes mine could be as simple as " I allow my heart to be open and be my guide today." An intention creates an energy that you can cultivate through out your day, and always change when needed. The beauty of setting an intention is it allows for purpose to flow and for the universe to guide you easily and effortlessly.

4. Once soft enough, choose skillful vulnerability: Once...Read More

Art can transform us

Fri, 28 Aug 2020 19:02:32 -0700

Have you ever watched a really amazing movie or play and was just balling crying. Something about the character or the plot touched your heart and reminded you of a loved one or of pain that you were going through. These are the arts! They heal us even just by watching them. So imagine using them to heal your story.

I remember when I was a little girl, I would hide in my room and lock the door behind me and just dance. I would get lost in the movements and the sounds that surrounded me. This on some level was comforting. To dance, or draw, or listen to music. I knew at the very young age of five the capacity of art to heal and transform. Now there are actual studies that show that doing art affects the brain, creates neouroplasticity and can heal disease and illness. When I work with people I offer all kinds of modalities, writing, art, music, movement. Just yesterday I had a client of mine do some body mapping. She drew her body and the landscapes and images of the cancer and her inner struggles. I then had her dance out her pain and try to step in to a new story, a new state of being.

Tears fell down her face as she started to shed some of her pain through the images, and the movement. I was so honored and touched to hold space for her in a creative way, but really the art was what was healing her. I was just her guide.

I would be honored to be your guide. You don't have to be an artist to dive in to the arts. You just have to be open to surrender to a new you. Click below if your ready. I am waiting on the other side.

Is it healthy love or a mere addiction

Wed, 26 Aug 2020 20:08:30 -0700

What is love exactly? When do we know if it is unhealthy and how do we get out when we first start to see the red flags? I know I am guilty of this, and am sure a lot of us are. Repeating an unconscious tape with not just one partner with many. Then soon realizing you were trying to heal your childhood through all these various love partners. Same pattern different faces! You see what they don't teach us in elementary school is just this! What a great topic we could have placed in our early education. Hi kids today we will discuss: "What is love, and what is just you trying to heal your childhood trauma through love." Now don't get me wrong in every relationship we are searching for a secure base, someone to feel safe with. Who doesn't want to feel safe and loved and secure in someone else's arms. But if we never felt that safety as a child, or there was an anxious parent who needed his or her own self soothing we became that caregiver at the young delicate vulnerable age. Our brains formed a wave of transmitters carving into our data this is love. So love could look a gamete of ways. It could be you wanting to fix someone, and being attracted to the same unavailable partner over and over again. Or it could be you running every time someone creates a secure attachment because you never knew what that was, so it scares the shit out of you.

So you ask well how do I break this pattern of loop cycle if it is so unconscious? You have to get hit sometimes by the bus the third time to wake up and say what the hell am I doing. That is when the healing begins. To look within, and take full responsibility is realizing you can't blame your past or your upbringing. But you can walk choose to walk a new road. Love is possible even if you never received it as a child. It simply starts with you facing your fears and walking away from unfulfilled dynamics that no longer serve you. While charting in these unknown waters, I am honored to be your guide. I sure as hell have...Read More

Healing the Inner Child within

Sun, 16 Aug 2020 18:52:23 -0700

Childhood is a time when we ideally experience a sense of stability, presence, attunement and love

from our family. When we don’t feel like we matter, when we are not given a lot of love in a way that we can receive it, when we are not given enough time, or when we experience childhood trauma, a person can carry this emotional distress into adulthood.

Childhood trauma can be either soft trauma (general lack of attunement, or physical or emotional

absence of a parent), or hard trauma (physical, sexual or emotional abuse). Both types of trauma can undermine or destroy our sense of safety and self-worth, and whilst this can manifest in different ways for different people, there are some common challenges that those who have experienced childhood trauma may face when navigating their adult life. These include:

Difficulty regulating emotions
Experiencing feelings of shame and guilt
Experiencing feelings of poor self-worth
A desperate need to gain love and affection from others
Feeling alienated and unable to relate to others
A fear of intimacy and connection to others
Acting in ways one doesn’t understand and may even forget
Anxiety and depression
Suicidal thoughts
Gap rage

When childhood trauma remains unattended, coping mechanisms and high

-risk behaviors that are often unhealthy in nature can develop, such as smoking, drug taking, excessive drinking, self mutilation or abusive relationships. There is often a fear of being imposed on or of losing love, and there may be a difficulty in feeling of value to people and in the world,

and in trusting other people. Unconsciously our behavior is desperately trying to find the safety and love we never experienced as a child, whilst trying to protect ourselves from being harmed.

What if you today you committed to a daily practice to have a dialogue with your inner...Read More

Living your creative dreams amidst of fears!

Sat, 15 Aug 2020 14:45:40 -0700

Having and living your creative dreams will awaken and activate fears. This is to be expected and planned for. In order to deal with fear, you need to be able to:

Recognize and Identify it

Speak of it, write it down.

Establish the nature of it.

Ask is it rational or irrational. or a mixture.

Address the fears in some way.

Find solutions, ask for help or support.

Redirect fears.

Figure out where fears can live, so you can continue moving in the direction you choose!

Were human we all face fears and insecurities so sometimes naming them makes it easier to cage them. I call them monkeys. " The monkeys can't come out to play today" I say. And I lovingly move forward even with a baby step towards a goal. These days with covid that could be lovingly taking a walk, phoning a close friend, or finally getting to a creative project you have been putting off. It can also be simply having gratitude for each day, and showing up gracefully amidst the fears that are in your head. I lovingly challenge you today to face one fear with some of my interventions above and let me know how it goes!! I am rooting you on. You can do this! We can do this together. Love you

Lacey's Life

Mon, 04 May 2020 09:38:23 -0700

Now I could go ahead and list of all of the snazzy jobs and experiences I have had to make you want to choose me as your therapist and or empowerment coach. Or I can tell you the hard stuff. I will give you an inside view of how it wasn’t always as easy as it appeared.

I grew up in Malibu, CA where anyone would have died to have lived. My family was pretty affluent and I had nice things. I still struggled with a lot of internal conflicts, as we all did as children. I wanted to be deeply heard and seen, and loved by who else but my Motherly figure. I wanted an every now and then a hug or words of encouragement that told me I was doing an amazing job. But instead I ended being that role model for her. Hence, I fell in that role as the caregiver “helper” as they categorize in in psychology. This created an unconscious pattern in my mind that “If I fix others, they will have the capacity to love me.”

I did not understand this pattern until my third horrific break up with a man who was an extreme narcissist and very unemotionally available. I guess you could say I was a love addict growing up through most of my teenage years. I rebelled from my parents and dove into many damaging, emotionally abusive relationships, all trying to fix others so they could be able to love me. A model I learned at a very young age. I became a victim in my life story and after the final discard I was ready to face my own inner demons.

>>>>You see most of us live in our unconscious, which is 95% of our personality. We keep recreating the same scripts, just with different people in them. To break these habits, it will take a lot of courage and help along the way. It wasn’t easy re parenting my own inner child and forgiving my parents for perhaps not being what I expected or needed as a child. Our parents do the best they can based on their parenting. The key is to break these cycles so that when we have children we don’t pass on the baggage of our ancestors and...Read More