Childhood is a time when we ideally experience a sense of stability, presence, attunement and love
from our family. When we don’t feel like we matter, when we are not given a lot of love in a way that we can receive it, when we are not given enough time, or when we experience childhood trauma, a person can carry this emotional distress into adulthood.
Childhood trauma can be either soft trauma (general lack of attunement, or physical or emotional
absence of a parent), or hard trauma (physical, sexual or emotional abuse). Both types of trauma can undermine or destroy our sense of safety and self-worth, and whilst this can manifest in different ways for different people, there are some common challenges that those who have experienced childhood trauma may face when navigating their adult life. These include:
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Experiencing feelings of shame and guilt
- Experiencing feelings of poor self-worth
- A desperate need to gain love and affection from others
- Feeling alienated and unable to relate to others
- A fear of intimacy and connection to others
- Acting in ways one doesn’t understand and may even forget
- Anxiety and depression
- Suicidal thoughts
- Gap rage
When childhood trauma remains unattended, coping mechanisms and high
-risk behaviors that are often unhealthy in nature can develop, such as smoking, drug taking, excessive drinking, self mutilation or abusive relationships. There is often a fear of being imposed on or of losing love, and there may be a difficulty in feeling of value to people and in the world,
and in trusting other people. Unconsciously our behavior is desperately trying to find the safety and love we never experienced as a child, whilst trying to protect ourselves from being harmed.
What if you today you committed to a daily practice to have a dialogue with your inner child.
I find the morning is best, so you can start your day with an intention to
cultivate your power! Begin with self reflecting on your childhood to start working with your shadows.
Write a list of all the qualities that you were celebrated for in your early child
hood by parents, siblings, close friends and family.
Now write a similar list of all the qualities you were criticized or judged for and your siblings were criticized and judged for.
Reflect on how these qualities may have been over-exaggerated or suppressed in your teenage years and now in adulthood. Awareness is half the work in integrating your shadows and changing your conditioning; now make the conscious choice to become more than your conditioning and to live your life and behave in a way that is authentic to YOU, not to others
Wouldn’t you like to permanently break old patterns that don’t serve you? You can do this. I love you. And if you need more help with this process I am happy to be your guide.
