What is love exactly? When do we know if it is unhealthy and how do we get out when we first start to see the red flags? I know I am guilty of this, and am sure a lot of us are. Repeating an unconscious tape with not just one partner with many. Then soon realizing you were trying to heal your childhood through all these various love partners. Same pattern different faces! You see what they don't teach us in elementary school is just this! What a great topic we could have placed in our early education. Hi kids today we will discuss: "What is love, and what is just you trying to heal your childhood trauma through love." Now don't get me wrong in every relationship we are searching for a secure base, someone to feel safe with. Who doesn't want to feel safe and loved and secure in someone else's arms. But if we never felt that safety as a child, or there was an anxious parent who needed his or her own self soothing we became that caregiver at the young delicate vulnerable age. Our brains formed a wave of transmitters carving into our data this is love. So love could look a gamete of ways. It could be you wanting to fix someone, and being attracted to the same unavailable partner over and over again. Or it could be you running every time someone creates a secure attachment because you never knew what that was, so it scares the shit out of you.
So you ask well how do I break this pattern of loop cycle if it is so unconscious? You have to get hit sometimes by the bus the third time to wake up and say what the hell am I doing. That is when the healing begins. To look within, and take full responsibility is realizing you can't blame your past or your upbringing. But you can walk choose to walk a new road. Love is possible even if you never received it as a child. It simply starts with you facing your fears and walking away from unfulfilled dynamics that no longer serve you. While charting in these unknown waters, I am honored to be your guide. I sure as hell have thrown myself in front of way too many buses. Now I choose a new path, a new road to venture on. Some days are rocky and I get lost but I always come back within myself and choose me. Choosing you!!!! But I did not do it alone, I had plenty of help along the way. We are not meant to struggle in life alone. Reach out, I am here for you.
Book a free 15 minute session and I am happy to help you start getting there. I would be honored to be your guide.